The Moving Jungle…
For over 80% of my readers, I know your minds have done all the filming, your eyes wider and your mouths salivating! *smh*
This is real life, pure and undiluted and you need to take note.
If you didn’t know, a normal danfo has about 3 rows of iron and wood construction (chairs) that should comfortably seat 12 average-sized adults. (Sometimes, you can find about 18 -20 people in 1 bus due to ingenuity called lapping!) In front, beside the driver, depending on the design of the bus, should seat 1 or 2 regular-sized adults. All these people put together, pay a certain amount of money to experience some level of inconvenience that is only synonymous with this moving mechanism.
Below you’ll find 3 distinct seating arrangements that determine how well you can enjoy your hard-earned money and scarce time:
1. LEFT WINDOW (behind the driver):
Responsibilities/Advantages:
a. You determine the size of buttocks that occupy the next 3 positions. Huge responsibility, I tell you!
b. You’re in charge of the window (if any) and can control of the amount of air that comes in.
c. You can buy whatever you want without crossing over people’s heads.
d. You’re almost free from the pressure of other human bodies and odours, especially.
e. You’re afforded the privilege of various views: the blazing sun, someone “doing his business” in the swamps, the number of meat in someone’s pot…etc
f. With the wind in your face, you are totally oblivious to happenings around you.
Disadvantages
a. You’re expected to make all the necessary adjustments to accommodate all body sizes.
b. You’re at the risk of losing your sight to zealous hawkers.
c. If the driver decides to “clear his throat”, you might be at the receiving end.
d. If it rains, you can choose to alight at the very next stop.
e. Alighting at any stop before the very last bus stop, will draw hisses and insults, as you’ll literally be stepping on toes.
f. In the event of an accident (tufiakwa!) you bear a greater part of the injury.
2. MIDDLE
Title: Captain of the Jungle.
Responsibilities/Advantages
a. You’re next in command, determining whose butt fits in next!
b. You have been provided pillows to cushion your head to the left and right.
c. This is the only chance you get to order the “king” to buy you anything.
Disadvantages
a. If the “king” decides not to “shift”, you’ll be most uncomfortable for the entire journey.
b. If the sleep overtakes you, you might receive a very rude awakening – a jab to your ribs!
c. In the absence of a conductor, you’re responsible for passing all the “collection” to the driver.
3. RIGHT WINDOW
Title: Keeper of the Jungle.
Responsibilities/Advantages:
- Need I say more; you have your job cut out just for you!
Disadvantages
a. In the absence of the conductor you become the ‘acting conductor’: an indicator when the driver wishes to turn off to the right…”owa l’egbe e!”
b. If the “king” refuses to shift, you are at risk of falling into the lagoon.
c. You have a privileged view of the conductor’s unwashed boxers and armpit.
d. Prepare to “back” the conductor when he decides to shut what’s left of the door.
e. You also risk having your finger(s) caught when the door in front is shut. Ouch!
f. You’re equally responsible for holding up rain else you’ll hold up the nylon that will protect the rest of the passengers!
This is the real deal: there’s no BEST position!
1. From embarking to alighting, all na struggle…na wetin sef?! Everyone is in a hurry but have you noticed that no one is too much in a hurry to alight half-way to jog the rest of the distance!
2. Consciously or unconsciously we all look for the nearest, most solid-looking thing to hold on to for dear life, thus forming our belief in something, anything to get us there.
3. We’ve all made sacrifices (time and money) and you must see the end-result.
4. We preoccupy ourselves reading or listening to music to block out the droning engines and blaring horns but we never forget where we’re headed.
5. When and how you alight depends entirely on you; on one or both feet, wait till the vehicle draws to a full stop…your travails are not forever.
6. Whatever ‘title’ you hold, na for your pocket o; we’re all dust, in the same world, heading in a direction (as you choose). While where you are presently, may not be all that to you, to someone else, you’re “reigning”.
7. You determine who you allow influence.
8. If at every curve, twist, turn and pothole your butt is almost sliding off the space allotted you, you’ve been shifted off course, request (pray) others to shift and adjust yourself sharply. It’s rare for anyone to reach out to help and steady you; it’s a JUNGLE!
Always remember that we’re all in this together, (if you like drive a BENTLEY); we’ll experience flats (where the tires are not flying off altogether) sometimes quietly, sometimes with a bang, we’ll lose our brakes and shock-absorbers, run out of oil and gas, get engulfed by the fumes from the exhaust, red flags on the dashboard (if any)…interruptions here and there, now and then, but more than ever, you just want to get it done and over with. It may even cough, grunt and grind to a complete halt and you have to hop into another even worse; just DON’T STOP before your bus stop! There’ll be scrapes and torn ‘Sunday bests’. Shrug it off; it’s one of those things.
Whatever you’re seeing from whatever position you are, it’s fleeting. What you SEE is your final bus stop.
Smile and stay grateful! Whatever side you’re on and whatever you’re privileged to view, gratitude is key. No position offers us complete satisfaction without the downside so, if you’re prone to envying others, always remember that the grass is not necessarily greener on the other side; the present occupant made it look that attractive or you need to have your eyes checked immediately!
To you, whether life is a battle-field, a play ground or a jungle, take a Boys’ Scout stance because…
The journey of a thousand bumps and turns begins with a danfo-jungle ride!!!
*Ephesians 6: 13 -18
